Saturday, December 27

Chalk One Up for Celibacy and the Church

Vanity is hard work.

I mean it. Trying to impress someone is a very expensive and time-consuming process. When I was younger (before and on my mission), I didn't care too much about my appearance. I mean, I showered daily and wore deodorant but my concern for myself stopped there. I had girlfriends and stuff, but I didn't really care about impressing them. Now I know why.

Today is a different story: a tanning package, teeth-whitening kit, expensive hair products, the complete wardrobe from Banana Republic and a bottle of Armani's Aqua d'Gio and I'm still feeling like there's more to do to show my potential Mr. Right that I'm the right one for him. I hadn't done a pushup since my 9th grade gym teacher forced me to, and last week I collapsed on the floor after doing 63 of them (that number may not be high--but it's impressive for me).

I've even sunk to avoiding doing things on Facebook on Friday and Saturday nights so that he'll think I'm not a loser. (I realize that I'm posting this on Saturday night, but I do have plans later on, I promise.)  I've even seriously considered going through the hundreds of pictures of me on Facebook and untagging myself from the "less photogenic" ones.  Case in point:

So, from a worldly standpoint, I've got one more reason to stay celibate. Without anyone to impress, I'm free to buy LA Looks rather than the premium line of hair gel. I can shop at the GAP rather than Banana Republic and Armani Exchange. I can sit on Facebook, stuffing myself with food I actually like and not have to worry about my lack of a six-pack or small pecks. In other words, I can be myself, without having to market me.

Chalk one up for chastity.


  1. mark, seriously, yer someone who can make a goofy face and still look handsome.

  2. Mark, you're a hoot! Did you achieve your goal mentioned in "Full Disclosure?"

  3. I have several articles of clothing and I like them very much, thank you.

    And why would you untag yourself? I think that picture is cute, and I'd bet Mr. Right would think so too. (Not that I'm insinuating I might be Mr. Right or anything but... Well I'd better stop before I paint myself into a corner.)

  4. LOL! I think it is more impressive if you can look stylish for 1/4 of the cost of expensive stuff. AKA I always get comments on outfits that literally cost me 8 bucks at TJ max over the outfits I pay 50 bucks for at like Ann Taylor. Anyway your post made me laugh! Have a great new year my friend!

  5. mister right doesn't care about how much you impress him. in fact, someone who tries too hard to impress is a turn off. be real. be yourself.

    like you said, trying to impress takes a lot of energy -- mental and emotional. after a while you'll burn out. start practicing being yourself today. you'll be so glad you did :)