Sunday, April 12

Thank you


You don't need the answers to all of life's questions,
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side.

As I contemplate a single, celibate life in the Church something that has always scared me is the fact that there will be nowhere for me to turn when things go wrong -- after a car accident, when I lose my job, when I need surgery. The pain of those situations will only be compounded by the fact that I am alone in it.

The last few months have been very difficult for me and the more difficult they got, the more it became clear how alone I am and would have to learn to be. Adversity can be a great learning experience but all I was learning is that I am left to endure alone and that up against the trial I am facing, I can't not fail. And I did fail. I gave up. I realized the truth of my greatest fears--that when times are darkest, I will be alone. God had failed me, my friends had, the Church had.

But in that darkness, a miracle in my life took place. My ward rallied around me--people reached out in ways that I have never experienced to show me that they loved me, and that God did, too. With their hands and calls and texts and prayers and faith God proved His love to me: That in my time of greatest need, He will make sure that I am taken care of, and looked after, and held.

If God was proving me, I gave up in the 'fourth watch.' But through you, He proved Himself faithful.

Thank you for showing me that though it may not be evident, God's love does not fail. That though I do not see a place for me in the kingdom, there is a place for me in the seat next to you at sacrament, and a place in your arms. That though I fail, neither Him or you will.

Thank you, University Third Ward.

3 comments:

  1. Mark, I am grateful the third ward rallied to show God's love in your time of need. I can feel of your yearnings and wish, though weak myself, I could reach out and lift us both. I guess that is the miracle we celebrate today, only He can lift us! Often it is through others, even weak ones.

    Happy Easter Mark.

    Steve aka Bravone

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  2. I knew this would happen. Funny how it works sometimes isn't it.

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  3. Markus! We all love you, even though we're sometimes really really bad at showing it.

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