The walk up Moriah is a lot longer than I expected.
I'm beginning to think that Abraham started the path completely unsure of himself and his God. I don't think he knew how it would all end, and I'm pretty sure he felt like there was no way he wasn't going to fail. He took Isaac and started the journey not because he knew it was right, but because he felt like there was no other option.
I imagine the walk was hard. Each step he took forward he felt the weight of what he was about to do. There was no path that led a clear direction. No one to show him the way. No one to beckon him forward. No one to offer the reassurance that what he was doing was, in fact, right. I imagine he turned back a couple of times and even more often, collapsed to the ground crying, with nothing but hurt and anger in his heart for the God who had betrayed his hopes and dreams.
Nothing good awaited him. If he failed, he failed the God who gave him all the good he had in his life. If he passed, he would live the rest of his life scarred from the sacrifice he was forced to make. Either way, a life of regret, of wondering how it all could have been.
All he faced was doubt, disappointment, hopelessness. And still he walked forward. And the closer he got, the harder it became.
And at the moment he raised his knife, when all his detours and disappointments led him to this final moment of obedience and sacrifice, when he saw every promise fail, and every dream vanish--at this pivotal moment in his own personal history, he somehow managed to summon the courage and strength to offer God everything.
Everything that he thought he couldn't possibly sacrifice he willingly gave up.