God, make me good.
I want to be valiant, one of the faithful. I want to devote my life to service. To be like Jesus, willing to give not just anything but everything. I want a life filled with sacrifice, and hope, and faith, and service, and joy, and charity. I want to keep every covenant and promise I've made with you. I want the spiritual gifts you promise throughout the scriptures. I want the blessings of the Gospel. Use me to bless and love and serve others. I want the capacity to love more, longer and deeply.
But not yet.
Not today, and probably not tomorrow either. I want to hold him in my arms, to feel him breathing and his heart beat. I want to see him smile. I want to be the reason for that smile. I want the life of my dreams--the house, the job, the car, him. I want to kiss his face and neck and chest. To run my fingers through his hair. I want to have a contented smile, not a painful one. One that takes no effort, knows no hardship and stays for long periods of times.
I want both things most. God, make me good. But not yet.